21 May 2017

What's in a dream?

I have been unable to write much in the last few weeks. I've experienced a series of events that blocked me up.

  • We went skiing to Livigno, Italy for a week and for the first time I admitted that skiing was getting to be excessive work (Am I getting old?). The conditions were great, and we had fun skiing with cousins from Germany until Celine tore her knee up like I did so many years ago. Perhaps the memory of that did me in. 
  • I joined the Irish Cruising Club and helped host 250 visitors to our home town, Westport. Fun but work. 
  • I was voted Rear Commodore of the Ocean Cruising Club, which means a new board position. We delivered a talk on Cruising the Wild Atlantic way at the OCC AGM in Henley while we were at it.
  • Alex launched his book, Self-Publishing for Success and did a talk at the library.
  • We delivered two talks, Cruising the WAW and Happy Hooking, The Art of Anchoring at the PBO Ask the Experts series at the Beaulieu Boat jumble in the UK. What an experience!
  • We helped staff an Open Day at our local Mayo Sailing Club
  • Mother-in-law required yet another surgery -- she's now staying with her daughter for a couple of weeks
  • We painted the boat bottom and I sanded the coaming all in one day in Donegal
  • I developed a strange pain in my left hand which my physiotherapist diagnosed as tendinitis and I attribute to repetitive stress due to doing email on the phone while travelling excessively.
  • I had my first outbreak of cold sores in years (Stress? Must be.)
  • Alex and I had a big argument. Our first in years. 
  • I woke up having knee pain that incapacitated me for a day. Then it clicked and was better.
  • I have been having a series of bizarre dreams. 
Oh, and Alex was asked to be OCC Rear Commodore for Ireland, we're launching and bringing Aleria home next week, and sailing off to Spain on June 1. So since I launched my book, I have had very little time to promote it. I have not sent out any review copies. I have completely lost momentum. Oh well. It was a practice book anyway. I wanted to see if I could write a novel, and I did. But all this different stuff is making me schizophrenic. 

The dreams I had while in Southampton happened two nights in a row multiple times. Each time, I was either on top of a building -- a skyscraper -- or on top of a massive mountain cliff. I ran almost gleefully across the top and then stopped at the edge and casually stepped off of it. In that instant, I would experience that sense of "stomach in your mouth" anxiety that you are about to fall all the way when I'd wake up. This happened multiple times a night for two days. 

I asked our friend, a psychoanalyst with a special interest in dreams, what this could have meant. He asked a few questions then said, "There is something big that you are embarking on doing. You are excited about it but you know that the moment you step into it, there will be no going back."

So here it was staring me in the face. He was spot on. I have been putting off my mother's memoir for a number of years and I know this is the work I want to be doing. Procrastination has got to end. Once again, the dream world is showing me the way. 

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