So much sorrow

Early this week, our friends came over to see the garden and the new mowing machinery as they are thinking of getting something similar. That evening they received a message saying goodbye from their son. They learned later that he had jumped off a cliff. His body was recovered the next day by the subaqua police. They are gutted. His cremation service was yesterday. We did not go. 

Yesterday, I learned that a friend from my last job who I had stayed in touch with over the years had died of cancer aged 60. We are now at the age when we lose friends and family regularly. 

4.36 M have died of confirmed coronavirus infection but the real figure must be many times that. So many sad people have lost so much more. 

Bad news

Easter 2004 Mahwah NJ: Oksy, Walt, Mom and me
The last time we were all together.

On the 1st of August, my brother, Walt aka Dy, sent me an email:

'Letting you know that I am now entering final home hospice care for my cancer. This week turned to final stages.

Will transition from home to hospital hospice care as necessary

DO NOT plan on coming here

There will be cremation but no funeral services

Call Mira and Dorian' 

We've known it was coming as he's been undergoing chemo and radiation treatments for 3 years. He was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer. Now that the chemo is no longer working, he will be gone in a few days. I got to speak with him but cannot see him. I haven't actually seen him in several years. He's an extreme introvert as is his wife, Mira, and son, Dorian, who lived with us for 6 months as a school work project. 

It's hardest on Dorian, who has been taking care of both of them for years now. Mira had back surgery and chronic TMJ pain. Dy has been in and out of the cancer ward for years. Dorian is so tired and distraught and I can't be there to hug or help. It sucks. He can't stand watching his father suffer even more than he has for so long. 

And now I just learned that my brother passed peacefully in his sleep during the night. RIP Walt, my brother. I hope Oksy is on your case. Now I am an only. 

The wry smile I remember so well. Vichnaya pamyat. August 14, 2021

Me, Oksy, Dy circa 1985