That sinking feeling

That sinking feeling

by Daria Blackwell

I feel the knots in my core. 

Twisting. Erupting. Gnawing.

My head throbs and my eyes bulge,

I am like a wild animal caught in a trap.

I hate being here. I want to run and hide.

I want the peace and solace of home.

I can’t deal with people all the time. 

I must be on my own to recharge

And that can’t be just on a different boat. 

Or on another note in time. 

It has to be out of sight to be out of mind. 

Being trapped causes my mind to spiral

Deep into abysses I can usually avoid.

I want to shed all responsibility and flee.

But I am enveloped by a sea of lost tranquility.

I want to cry. I want to slip overboard.

I want to cut the lines loose and drift out to sea. 

Where if the sinking feeling is real,

I won’t have to deal with it anymore. 

Written aboard Aleria on June 28, 2022, a day before my 68th birthday.